Thursday, February 12, 2009

Death by Chocolate?

I awoke this morning to the miserable patter of rain, my summer has now officially ended, giving way to the cold and freezing dark nights, no more beach, no more half naked boys and most of all no more holidays.

So, my mood if you havn't guessed... is one of total and utter depression, my favorite time of year has been stolen, slaughtered in turn for a far darker fate.
Winter is not the time for fun, the time for maturity, sensible behavior and family. To say the least, my drunken weekends and parties ensuring I do not know where I awake next, have been erased from future records.

Instead, I get to spend, 'precious', 'invaluable' time with the folks, how exciting? Well I guess I still have to focus on my education, and the lack of male and alcoholic distraction may greatly benefit this, but seriously, the outlook is currently bleak. For all of you who are religious, I am in a time of need, pray for me as I embark upon this cold and desolate journey, giving up all that I love in favor for all that is modest, stupid and fucking boring.

In any case, as the fires in Victoria rage on, consuming more and more precious life, my thoughts are with those, all of which have lost loved ones, lives and hope. May we cater them through their time of need, and offer all we have to our fellow Australians.

'We are one, but we are many'. That's the bloody Australia I live for, courage, larikins, fools but mates to the very end, were no life is more important than the bloke sitting next to you, whose name you've forgotten, but laugh is a perpetual memory.


GOD BLESS AUSTRALIA

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Suddenly Mature?

A day like any other, that is what I was greeted by when I awoke to the painful morning calls my boyfriend has been giving me as of late, in an attempt to encourage me to complete my homework duties.

The rest following was a monotonous blur, the kafuffle of school clothes, zing of the hair straightener then the quick snap into 'awake' as the realization of time nearly swept me off my feet. THE BUS!

So anyway, school was a drag, my friends perpetually making amazing plans, almost all of which are yet to be completed. Today's topic was the prospect of visiting an old and haunted grave site, known only as 'Sarah's Grave'. I'm not exactly sure what this entails, except my plans included way too much alcohol, a lot of the man friend and a morning after like never before.

To no avail, the plans were made, and have yet to be stricken, however, us girls never fail to exempt ourselves from our stupid plans, in favor for other wild unorganized activities. After meeting with the girls and beginning the journey to work I stumbled upon an old friend, who remarked that my demanour had suprised him so vividly that he now believed I was 'mature', but of course still 'hot'.

To satisfy his curiosity as to what had suddenly changed my mischeivous ways, I have decided to invite him to my alcoholic grave yard bash, in order to show him the source of my 'maturity', maybe that might learn him.

However, even I, typical girl by day, vixen by night, realize that there is more to life than alcohol and unplanned, spontaneous and tantalizing sex, there is also the biggest morning after of all, the shock and horror of knowing your forty, look like shit, smell like shit, have no job, a shit-for-brains husband and a truck load of kids. So for those pitying my ignorance and stupidity at such a young age, the consequences have been considered, and that is why I punish myself five days a week at school were my grades are incredible in relation to my efforts.

To the magnificence of my grades, I credit my solid efforts in partying, the only thing I ever attempt realisticly. Suddenly mature? Oh Josh, you have much to learn.

Monday, February 9, 2009

The Undeniable, Unassailable and Entirely Devastating Truth

As I sat at my desk, thinking oh so hard about my essay question, my mind has easily wandered into the realm of philosophy. Deciding then to pursue my new object of interest I found the follwing certainly amusing definition;
'Philosophy; A route of many roads leading, from nowhere, to nothing'

So, now I believe that I myself can perfectly empathize with those who wish to ordain themselves philosophers, because it is apparent to me now that, in fact, the difference between philosophy and procrastination is so dissmal that even I can pronounce myself a philosopher.

To no avail, I am proving my newly gained credentials even now, as I increasingly delay my English homework for tomorrow morning. To continue upon this road I have now embarked upon, leading from nowhere to nothing, I have decided to illustrate a few of the affable things I have surrounded myself with as of late.

1. Multitudes of books often keep me from dwelling on my current living situations, as the second mother to far too many children
2. My partialty to violent movies has only been increasing
3. I find that the substance of alcohol at teenage parties is an object of ecstacy and excitement, criticise me for my ignorance all you want
4. My last year of school is going to be my best

I have erected myself a number of goals this year to quell both my childish and also my sensible desires, which I hope to achieve, or at least feign attempt in.
1. I have decided that school work can no longer be denied and portrayed as fiction.
2. I have decided that my work hours must decrease in order to release more precious time
3. I have decided that my boyfriend will only be able to see me twice during the school week and once on the weekend
4. I have decided to limit myself to 10 standard drinks at whatever party I go to, except for my own
5. I have decided that driving at odd hours of the night without parental consent is not an issue
6. Rain is gods confetti

And now that I have publicly accounted myself to my new found truths, one can only hope I abide by them, however, rules would not be in place if they were so frequently broken.

=]

The Melodious Sound of Cacophany

Once again my friends, it's reached the point of day were my opinions have amounted to an unbearable burden. This day, like any other began with a futile argument over the array of dishes left in the sink by the various members which comprise my family.

To add to the cacophany of noise surrounding the issue of breakfast came the sudden news that today my car, bought prematurely as I'm still within the learning process, was no longer safe to use. Shock horror, since then one bad thing after another seemed to come hurtling in my direction.

I have now become excrutiatingly aware of the inadequacy that is Australian public transport. I was late to school, and late on my arrival home, which in turn made me late for my date with my boyfriend. To no avail I believe that in my life there is no such thing as an ordinary day, and that despite my efforts to conceal it, it is of an overbearing dramatic nature. As far as it goes, call me Stephanie Plum, because with the exception of Italian heritage, we live on the same wavelength.

All in all, terrible day and it's not even lunch time.

The 'Oh Shit School's Back!' Scramble

Being the oldest child of seven, five of which are within the public school system, and two of which still attend preschool is a tough enough task in and of itself. However, nothing can really express the chaotic nature of the back-to-school frenzy evident within our house.

My name is Caitlin, and I have just begun my last year of public school turmoil, in the hopes that it will grant me access to a successful life, however my aspirations are yet to be met.

In an accumulative order, the night before school occured such as this; a mad frenzy of labelling clothes, books, bags, stationary and lunch equipment left the floor in the living room no longer visible, but that was indeed a small feat when compared to the covering of work books and text books which left my youngest brother a mesh of contact paper and spiderman figures.

Luckily with all of the organization equipment sheilded and labelled, the lunch preparations were well underway, I almost feel sorry for my brother who follows me in chronological order, the idea of food being packaged and uneaten left him terribly confused.

The morning after was a whir of black and blue as the long forgotten sock war raged in the den. Flashes of recently pressed white shirts and hard leather shoes greeted me as a slinked to the bathroom (where I had cleverly hidden my socks as a means to excuse myself from the epic battle over white school socks, which eternally disappear). I don't know who won, or which color socks were worn as after this I was running to catch the punishingly early bus.

All in all I count this day as a success, my mother never ceases to amaze me, however her secret isn't a complexity, as when scouring through my cupboards for a satisfying release from the day with my peers, I discovered that indeed anything which may provide the clumsiness and satisfaction of intoxication had already been devoured by my saint of a mother. Well what can I say, better her than me.